7.10

It's really difficult for me to say what I mean. And it's more difficult for me to find somebody who knows what I mean when I don't say it. But everybody is like that, which is why we all form bonds with the ones who 'get' us most.
But if you understand me too much, I feel exposed. As if you know all my secrets, and there's nothing new to me anymore. I'd feel boring because you think you know what I mean when I don't say anything.

Eventually, somebody will be the right balance.

I think that's a good reason to love somebody: you know, yet you realize that there's always more.

SCREAMING

quick send help

c:

when five fell

We delight in the promise of falling for love.
We crumble in the dread of falling from love.
Everyone falls. Everything falls.

morning

How lucky are we to simply wake each day. How blessed to see the colors, the light. Do not lose sight of this, do not forget. When you treat each breath as a gift you never expected to get, it’s so much harder to be anything other than elated when you open them.

Letters to a Young Poet

I want to beg of you much as I can to be patient toward all that’s unsolved in your heart, and learn to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms, or like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.

Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you, because you would not be able to live them, and the point is to live everything.

Live the question now, perhaps you will then, gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke

sometimes,

you just need to know when it’s the right time to let go and move on, when the fight isn’t worth it anymore, when you realize that someone can make you happier. Because when you remove yourself from the picture, you start to see how it never really fit, and you start to see how perfectly you can fit somewhere else. With someone else.

/

The most interesting things happen at the most unexpected times. You think you’re living for the weeks the months and the years but you’re really living for the moments. And it just takes one to realize everything.

rhetoric

325

I moved out today. And it's strange mainly because I've been calling Gillson 325 my home for the past nine months. Though some say it's ghetto, cramped and disordered, I've never felt more at ease than when I'm sitting atop my lofted twin XL. Among the many memories shared within those walls, here are some notables

• The midnight surprise I received on my birthday
• Andrew sleeping in the cramped space below my bed at the beginning of the year
• Opening my eyes to a brilliant orange sky for my 8AM rhetoric class following a quadruple sleepover
• Face masks and photo booth with Nguyen
• Waking up from my naps to see Jane staring into my soul (lol)
• The night I was painfully dragged back to the room, tucked in and given water bottles and bananas for the morning after (ty Kimpo)
• Frosting and devouring Jane's cupcakes with Andrea and Nicole
• Showering Andrew with cotton balls
• Watching Eugene twerk in his bright boxer briefs..............
• Shuukudai and Samurai Champloo close to 2AM
• Playing dress up with Janey
• Shenanigans before Alesso with Emily, Chloe, Robin and Chan
• Plopping myself on the bed after a long day of work or self adventure

on that finals grind

everybody is just too focused while i'm over here blogging lol

.

You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch.

Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way. Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.

Julien Smith